PAST AND FUTURE

(AKA Until We Get It Right)

RATED PG

DISCLAIMER: Paramount owns the characters and the premise behind Star Trek.

'Commander, wait up!'

Somewhat impatiently, Chakotay held the turbolift as Neelix bounded in, brimming with his usual exuberant energy and good cheer. ‘Thank you!’ he enthused. ‘I wanted to –‘ he paused, peering up at the tall First Officer. 'You look a little tired, Commander. Didn’t you sleep well?'

Chakotay shook his head. 'Just a little preoccupied with a few problems lately; nothing to worry about.' He waited, but Neelix didn't call a turbolift destination. 'Was there something you wanted, Neelix?'

'I won’t delay you but a minute, Commander; I was about to tell you. Kes succeeded in cultivating a new, improved batch of edible mushrooms in Airponics; I wanted you to be the first to know. You’ll have a tureen of succulent mushroom stew in only a few days!' The little Talaxian gestured gleefully; certain he’d made the Commander’s day.

Oh, no. How do I tell him? thought Chakotay.

'What – what's wrong, Commander?'

'Neelix - I appreciate your efforts, but - I've developed an allergy to mushrooms,' Chakotay sighed. 'Remember the two days Tuvok took the bridge when the Captain was off duty last week? I was in sickbay having a severe reaction from the last batch.'

Neelix was crestfallen. 'Oh, but surely something can be done...'

Forestalling Neelix's protest, he continued, laughing, 'It's a big sacrifice, but I just have to face the fact that it's something I can't have. I didn't say anything about it before; I didn't want to hurt your feelings.'

The little alien's face fell but then his horsetail of hair wafted sideways as he gestured diplomatically. 'That's quite all right, Commander, I understand completely. Don't let it worry you. Perhaps someone else would like them.’

'I've never yet seen a dish you've prepared go unappreciated, Neelix,' the Commander reassured him, stretching the truth just a bit.

'Well... I'll let you be on your way, then.' He turned to exit but suddenly whirled back around. 'If there’s anything else you want prepared --'

'I'll be sure to let you know.' Chakotay’s broad smile made everything right again. He watched Neelix trot back down the corridor as the turbolift doors slid shut.

~ ~ ~

He was tired; preoccupied; whatever the reason, he couldn't concentrate. It was one of those rare instances when he couldn’t reach the spirit world. He made a mental note to schedule it for another, more favorable opportunity and refolded his medicine bundle. As he turned to lay it on a nearby table, in his peripheral vision, he saw a dark-haired humanoid standing in the corner, half shadowed by the overhang of the bulkhead. Alarmed, he automatically slapped his comm badge. 'Intruder alert!'

The comm badge did not chirp. There was no reply from the computer. The being emerged from the shadows, looking benevolently down at Chakotay’s kneeling form. Benevolent or not, Chakotay warily got to his feet and faced his visitor. Was this friend or foe, and how did he get here?

'Who are you?' he asked, brusquely.

The man's deeply quiet, calm voice answered. 'You do not recognize the costume of your tribe, the marking of your ancestors?'

Chakotay looked at him carefully. Broad, dark face, so like his own ... short black hair with a braid cascading down his back ... full-sleeved, patterned shirt ... vest of decorated leather; the familiar tattoo... he did, indeed, resemble Chakotay's people.

'Are you in my visions, or are you real?'

'You are not in the spirit world, Chakotay. I am here with you now, in this time and place.'

'You're an intruder. You could be a threat to my ship.'

The man shook his head reassuringly. 'I'm a friend.'

Chakotay fired questions in quick succession. 'I don't know you. How did you get here? How do you know my name?'

'All your questions will be answered, Chakotay,’ he replied patiently. ‘Will you trust me?'

'What do you want from me?’

'A leap of faith,' the man replied, cryptically.

'Do I have a choice?'

The man stepped forward, penetrating the depth of Chakotay’s eyes with his own. 'Yes. Continue to question; live an ambiguous life -- or come with me and know; and live a life of peace.'

Chakotay studied the man. He sensed no evil; no duplicity. Intrigued, he nodded.

‘Very well,' said his visitor. He merely raised his hands; everything changed.

~ ~ ~

The sounds and scents reached him first. Gentle night winds ruffling leaves above and below. The freshness of thick forest newly rained upon, laced with pungent earthy aromas. Chakotay's companion moved gracefully down a well-worn path leading to a clearing, motioning him to follow. There in the distance, the small gray modular shelter stood under a brace of trees, its plainness enhanced by shrubbery here and there. A small, neatly tended garden lay before it. Everything was hauntingly, achingly familiar.

'Do you recognize it, Chakotay?' the stranger asked.

With a lump in his throat, Chakotay nodded.

'Come inside,' the man beckoned. ‘You will not be seen nor heard.’

Beige walls enclosing a small living space; Starfleet-issue equipment in a rather sterile environment; yet a comfortably warm ambiance radiated from the handsome, laughing couple as they prepared their evening meal. The woman adorned the table with candles and flowers; the man did the cooking. The woman gestured broadly, laughing at her inability to cook, and in doing so, brushed her fingers against the hot server. The man grabbed her hand, reached for the hypospray lying nearby and swiftly healed the burn. He brought the small hand to his lips, sealing the area with a soft kiss. His eyes locked into hers as he did so.

Chakotay's heart lurched as he watched the woman respond, her hand caressing the black hair; tiptoeing to press her lips to his. The man set dinner aside before gathering the woman into his arms. He carried her out of sight through the narrow door.

'Do you know what you are seeing, Chakotay?' the stranger asked.

Angered, Chakotay turned away. They were outside again, and he stalked back down the path, past the line of trees, into the forest. Once there, he turned on the man. 'Look, I don't know what you're doing here, or trying to do, but I'm not playing your game. I want to know who you are and why I'm here – in a past that never happened!'

'Ah...' said the man in a kindly way, 'but you wanted it to.'

Chakotay's face assumed its fiercest expression; his voice became deadly calm. 'Tell me who you are.'

'I am Lakanta. I am a colonist from your homeworld.'

'The people on my homeworld are all dead. I do not know Lakanta.'

Lakanta shook his head. 'I am here ... to help you. You are in need.'

'What makes you think that?'

'Everyone on your ship brings their problems to you.'

'Yes,' he admitted, 'even the Captain, sometimes.'

'Regarding problems of your own ... who helps you?'

Chakotay hesitated. 'My vision quests ... my father ... my animal guide.'

'Ah ... as I thought. You leave the corporeal world to seek your answers.'

'It's all I've got.'

'And are your questions answered?'

'Not always.'

'Have your advisors helped you with the feelings which stem from what you've just seen?'

Chakotay drew a deep breath and let it out. 'No.'

'That is why I have come to help you; I have helped others like you. One was a young man of great intelligence. He was instrumental in delaying the removal of your ancestors from your homeworld. He was in great turmoil about his future and he found the answers he sought. Now I am here for you.'

'I don’t understand.'

'Did you know what you were seeing back there, Chakotay?'

'Something that could have happened long ago...but didn't. It was a place far from here ... and there's no going back.'

'But you think about it ... you dream about it, often ... don't you? If only as a pleasant fiction?'

He sighed again. 'Yes, I do.'

'Are you asleep now, Chakotay?'

He stared at Lakanta then tapped the back of his hand, sharply, three times. He did not awaken. This was not lucid dreaming; he was awake and aware. This was reality.

'Apparently not.'

'But she is.'

'Who?'

'Your Captain.'

'You're telling me that I'm seeing her dreams? That she fantasizes about the past in the same way I do?'

'Yes.'

Chakotay shut his eyes, trying to understand the meaning of this strange experience, the meaning of the man before him, the meaning of anything. Damn it, he was tired and he didn't feel up to riddles. 'Tell me what's going on!' he shouted.

The stranger merely raised his hands.

~ ~ ~

The world flickered and vanished. When it reappeared, the world was the Captain's ready room. Again, unseen and unheard, Chakotay and his companion watched Captain Janeway tap commands into several padds. Chakotay heard the hiss of the doors following her summons; saw himself enter and place yet another padd on her desk.

'Repairs?' she questioned.

'Coming along,' he replied, matching the professional tone of her voice.

She sighed, picked up the padd, but wearily laid it aside. The familiar half-grin he loved so much flitted across her features.

'I need a break. Join me for coffee?'

'Thanks.'

They sat opposite each other, sipping the hot beverage. The Captain relaxed enough to place her feet on the table and lean back, balancing her cup and saucer. The conversation was polite and friendly; an odd mixture of camaraderie bound on all sides by strict professionalism.

Chakotay took a deep breath and turned to Lakanta. 'What you showed me before was how we both, apparently, wish it had been ... and this is how it is.'

'Yes. This is how it is. Yet you both yearn for something more. Have you ever wanted something that you could not have, Chakotay?'

'Yes. Yes, I have.'

'Would it help you to look into the future?'

‘How can you – how have you been able to do all this?’ Chakotay asked. Then a memory stirred; a report he’d gotten long ago while he was still serving as a Lieutenant Commander on board the Gettysburg. Suddenly, he knew. ‘You are the Traveler. The being who can stop time; move great distances ... aren't you? The Enterprise encountered you, several times. You appeared to my people ... on Dorvan V ... just as the Cardassians were preparing to take the planet.'

Lakanta shimmered into light then coalesced into the tall, pale being that he truly was. 'That is correct, Chakotay,’ he said in his soft, ethereal voice. ‘Like young Wesley Crusher, I sensed your despair. Just as I helped Wesley find the answers his troubled spirit sought, I came to offer the same assistance to you. I stopped time so that I could speak with you.'

You moved the Enterprise over vast distances, Chakotay was thinking. 'You hold the kind of power that would take us home.'

'But that I cannot do. It is not wise. For many reasons, one of which is, that the time required for you to accomplish this on your own is necessary for your development. You will come to understand in time. Do you wish to see your future now?'

'I don't think that's wise.'

'Not your entire future ... only the future in relation to this woman that you love so deeply ... this love that holds you in such despair.'

'No one must be made aware of that.'

'No one will know. This is your journey ... yours alone.'

'All right.'

The Traveler raised his hands.

~ ~ ~

Still in the Captain’s ready room, Chakotay could see Voyager limp through bay doors past cheering crowds lining the windows of the space station orbiting Earth. Somehow, the means had been found to bring the ship home within a relatively short period of time.

Captain Janeway entered her ready room, crossing to the massive window as she had done so often, arms tightly folded, gazing into the starfield. Only this time no starfield, but the docking port of the United Federation of Planets, hovering above a beloved blue planet, filled the view. She had done it. She had brought Voyager home.

The door chimed. ‘Come, she said.’

It was her First Officer. 'Captain, are you all right?' he asked. Overwhelmed, she neither moved nor spoke.

He ascended the steps softly, lightly placing his hands on her shoulders. Without a word, she turned, burying her face in his chest, clinging to him. At first surprised, he swiftly enfolded her in his arms, kissing her hair softly and murmuring her name.

With the Traveler at his side, Chakotay watched them hungrily.

'You see, Chakotay?' asked the Traveler. 'She traveled a lonely, dark tunnel all those years with a singular purpose: to get Voyager home. She completed her mission. Having your loyalty and friendship sustained her, but her strength was not enough to give you more. She knew you loved her, so she set walls between you. Someday, as you can see, the walls will fall. There will come a day when she will need that which you both wanted, and waited for, so long.'

~ ~ ~

'Commander, wait up!'

Padd in hand, Chakotay halted in the corridor to wait for the animated little alien to intercept him from a connecting passage.

'You certainly look well and rested!’ Neelix enthused. ‘Are those problems all taken care of?'

Chakotay nodded, smiling.

'Do you have just a few minutes? I have something to show you in the Mess Hall.'

Chakotay agreeably followed Neelix to his domain. A single table was laid with pottery: bowl, cup, patterned napkin and flatware in the form of a broad spoon.

'Please, be seated, Commander Chakotay,' the little Talaxian said, formally.

Chakotay complied, albeit reluctantly. 'Neelix, lunch isn't for two hours yet...'

'Please, just ... bear with me a moment, Commander...' his voice trailed away as he stepped into the kitchen, presently reappearing with a steaming tureen. He set it down before Chakotay and with a true chef's flourish, removed the lid. Steam poured from within, carrying with it the unmistakable aroma of hearty mushroom stew.

Chakotay's mouth watered. Then, shaking his head regretfully, he said, 'Neelix, don't you remember? I can't eat this.'

'I remember, Commander...' Neelix paused importantly. 'However ... I spoke to the Doctor on your behalf. He said that he would work on synthesizing a substitute for the dish you love so much! What you see there is not replicated nor fresh grown. They're synthetic mushrooms; completely harmless to your system!'

He proceeded to ladle a generous amount into the bowl. 'The Doctor tested it three times on samples of your DNA, and he assures me it's safe. With all you do, Commander, I couldn’t bear there being something you wanted that you couldn't have!'

Chakotay smiled graciously. 'Thank you, Neelix.'

'Don't thank me, Commander ... thank the Doctor!'

Chakotay was about to dip his spoon into the succulent mixture when through the window, hovering against the background of stars streaking past; he once again beheld the Traveler. The benevolent being raised a hand in silent farewell to Chakotay, who raised his hand in return.

Confused, Neelix stepped to the window to peer out. 'What do you see out there, Commander?'

A friend. 'Nothing, Neelix,' he said quietly. ‘Nothing at all.’

The little Talaxian peered at him doubtfully -- but as Chakotay lifted the first spoonful into his mouth, savoring the taste; indistinguishable from the real thing – he anxiously awaited a response.

Chakotay’s expression told him all he needed to know. 'It's delectable, Neelix. I’ve never had better.'

Neelix’s smile was magnanimous. 'Then I'll leave you to enjoy.'

Alone in the Mess Hall, Chakotay sighed with pleasure and took another bite.

The End